


Coping Mechanisms

by Beth Harker (Beth_Harker)



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: COVID-19, Character Study, Current Events, Jeremy and Michael just facetime, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Quarantine, Slice of Life, frank discussion of past suicidal ideation, nothing really happens in this story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-04
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:47:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,187
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23485546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beth_Harker/pseuds/Beth%20Harker
Summary: Obligatory quarantine fic.
Relationships: Jeremy Heere & Jeremy Heere's Squip, Jeremy Heere/Michael Mell
Comments: 13
Kudos: 76





	Coping Mechanisms

————————

“Hey,” Jeremy says. He’s sprawled out on his bed, his MacBook open before him. Michael’s face flickers on the screen. He’s got a cat filter going, because why not? This is their new normal. 

“ ‘Sup,” Michael asks. 

Jeremy has learned three things since the start of the apocalypse: 

1\. Calling it the apocalypse is only funny to Michael. The rest of his friends prefer to just call it a pandemic or whatever, as if that’s less scary. (It isn’t.) 

2\. He’s got a hypochondriac streak and it, combined with boredom, gives him a lot of (probably psychosomatic) asthma symptoms. 

3\. His Squip doesn’t want him to die. 

The third thing is the most surprising. After all, Jeremy’s Squip has spent the last year and a half actively suicide baiting him. It’s not nearly as bad as before the thing got deactivated and lost most of its powers, and Jeremy can almost laugh it off when he does something innocuous like drop a glass of water and the faulty technology in his head responds by telling him to kill himself, but up until recently those death whispers had been inescapable. Now it’s all _wash your hands_ this and _social distancing_ that. 

“I kinda want to go to the grocery store and lick all the cart handles, just to piss it off,” Jeremy tells Michael, who pales. There’s no need to say what ‘it’ is. 

“If you do that, I’ll kill you myself. Did you know that for the Spanish flu of 1918 they tried to make a vaccine, but since people didn’t get the whole deal with viruses yet, they made a vaccine for an unrelated bacteria?” 

“I didn’t know that.” Jeremy picks at the comforter on his bed. 

“Bacteria is easier to see under a microscope than viruses. It’s bigger.” 

Michael has learned a lot more than three things since the start of the apocalypse. He’s gone down a rabbit hole like only Michael can, and he’s become an amateur expert on infectious diseases. All infectious diseases. After he’d read all the Covid-19 news the internet had to offer, he’d delved into the world of Spanish flu, smallpox, and Ebola, and of course he wants to talk about it all. That’s typical Michael. A lot of times, it’s good. Without his drive to know and to fix things, would Jeremy and everyone else have ever been saved from the Squips? Doubtful. 

Even so, it’s hard to listen to all the time. As much as Jeremy wishes Michael could find some top secret information about how Crystal Pepsi, when served at just the right temperature, can cure corona virus, he’s sure that’s not gonna happen. 

_‘If you continue to think of Michael as having all the solutions, you’re going to be as disappointed in him as I am in you,’_ says Jeremy’s Squip. It’s decided to go visible for the time being, and is sitting next to Jeremy on the bed, stroking its chin as if in contemplation. _‘On second thought, it might be good for you to embrace that kind of disappointment. Michael only knows a fraction of what he’s talking about, and he’s adding to your stress levels, which is bad for your immune system. If your body experiences illness, I will experience it as well. That would be unacceptable. I suggest cutting Michael from your life forever.’_

Jeremy shoots his Squip a glare. “Have I told you how much I like the sound of your voice?” he asks Michael. Then he makes a face, because this is one of those times when acts of rebellion against the Squip sound dangerously like flirting. 

“This is bullshit,” says Michael. “Hanging out is supposed to be a multi-sensual experience.” 

“Huh?” 

“Touch, sight, taste, sound, smell.” 

_‘TOUCH, sight, TASTE, sound, SMeLl,’ _the Squip echoes. It’s not as bad as the Squip makes it sound. Jeremy has kissed Michael a couple of times in the last few months, is all. Like a lot of other things, figuring out where that was going has been put on hold for the time being. Besides, if Michael is actively talking about touching him, he’s probably stoned.__

__“The Squip is getting kinda loud,” Jeremy admits._ _

__“You’re dealing with a lot.”_ _

__“So’s everybody.”_ _

__“Still.”_ _

__They’re quiet for a minute, the word hanging in the air. Jeremy takes a deep breath. Touching Michael doesn’t seem like such a bad idea right now. He hasn’t realized how much he craved being close to other people until he lost the ability to do so._ _

___‘You should consider reactivating me,’_ says the Squip. _‘Only then will I have access to the level of knowledge needed to keep you safe. It will also make me a better companion. We can play video games. Cards. Sit ups. Jumping jacks. Have you considered overthrowing the government?’_ _ _

__“Why does the government have to suck so much?” Jeremy asks. He’s managed to break his gaze from that of his Squip, but he’s doing the thing where he draws Michael into the conversation he and his Squip are having, because it’s gotten too loud to ignore._ _

__“Because Republicans only care about money, my dude. The country could be overcome by hordes of zombies, and they wouldn’t care as long as the zombies didn’t want food stamps.”_ _

__“They’d be offering the zombies tax breaks.”_ _

__The Squip snickers. Jeremy jumps. It’s a sound of approval, so why should it make him want to leap out of his skin?_ _

__“You good?” asks Michael._ _

__“It wants me to reactivate.”_ _

__“That’d be the definition of a bad coping mechanism.”_ _

___‘Is it as bad as his obsession with the virology?’_ _ _

__“You told me the history of leprosy yesterday,” Jeremy points out. “Twice. That’s also a bad coping mechanism.”_ _

__Michael licks his lips. “Yeah,” he concedes. “Okay. Yeah. Maybe. But I need you to hang in there, okay?”_ _

__Jeremy nods. He _is_ hanging in there. “I wasn’t being serious when I said the thing about the shopping cart.” _ _

__“We’ll all get better about handling this,” Michael promises. “And then eventually it’ll be over.” He gives Jeremy a smile that’s almost aggressive._ _

__There are a lot of things that Jeremy could say to that. He could point out that not everybody is going to come out on top of this, but he knows Michael. He wears his optimism like a badge (or, more precisely, a patch). He needs it, and Jeremy needs it from him._ _

__“We’ll probably be in college by the time this is over,” Jeremy says. “But, hey. College.”_ _

__(It’s not the best attempt at matching Michael’s energy. There’s a brittleness in Michael’s expression, like even he can’t match his usual energy.)_ _

__“College!” Michael repeats. “Oh, and mom says she might dye her hair blue. She’s always wanted to, and she figures no one’s gonna fire a pharmacist for having blue hair while shit’s going down.”_ _

__“She should do it!”_ _

__“If she ever finds time,” Michael says. As much as Jeremy and Michael have way too much time on their hands (homework notwithstanding), a lot of others have less time than ever._ _

__“Yeah.”_ _

__“You wanna stream a movie or something?”_ _

__“Sure.”_ _

__———-_ _


End file.
